Formal, or just Uncomfortable?

Wednesday, Andrew and I decided that we are far more comfortable in casual situations. We visited a pretty nice restaurant (we had a gift card), that wasn’t our usual favorite, and discovered through experimentation that low pressure eateries definitely fit our style more.

When we walked into this place, we were seated at a table by a hostess, and immediately greeted by this painting on the wall:

Look closely... I spy with my little eye a sheep being attacked by a leopard.

My first thought was “What the…” Then I laughed. My second thought was a quote straight from Ice Age, by Sid the sloth. “Look, the tigers are just playing tag with the antelope… with their teeth.”

Now, I don’t know who in their right mind would think that a painting like that would be suitable for a nice restaurant, or good for the atmosphere, but I can assure you it did nothing for both; in fact it was a bit detrimental to the experience. MAYBE, maybe, a conversation piece. Every time I glanced up from my food I was assaulted by the image of a bloody takedown.

The waitress came by to take our drink orders. A trend I’ve noticed at nicer restaurants is the fact that they only offer un-sweet tea. If you want sweet tea, you make it yourself. Even this has an art, to a degree: you select the right amount of either real sugar or fake sugar (white or pink packet), mix it in with the long and skinny tea spoon, and set the lemon aside after squeezing it into the tea. If done effectively, you rest the lemon and spoon on the pile of empty packets. Hah! Never thought this much into mixing tea, eh? Welcome to my brain.
After we ordered, we sat back innocently to talk. But minutes into the conversation we both realized that the underside of the table was carpeted. Yes, carpeted. Like, shag carpet. I have NEVER been to a restaurant where the tables have carpet on the other side. This could be interpreted in probably hundreds of ways, but I don’t really feel like expending any brain power thinking of them Here’s a couple: Yeah, no. I don’t see any reason to put carpet on the underside of a table.

We got our salads, a little bit bemused so far, and had eaten about half each when our dinners came out. It was one of those awkward moments- I pushed my salad away, a bit regretfully, to make way for soup. Andrew had a burger, a tad gourmet looking I’ll admit.

Okay, a great thing about nice restaurants: nice service. The waitress must’ve asked if we needed tea/anything about ten times. Everything was relatively quick (is it possible to be too quick sometimes?), and she never forgot anything. Basically, if you’re going into a nice place, expect to tip well. Another awesome thing about nice restaurants: they’re more expensive in general. You’re paying for all that great service, quality food, and those lovely paintings. How often is it that you can pay an exclusive price to be scarred for life? Come on, money doesn't grow on trees.

The meal was punctuated by awkward mishaps- when to put your napkin on your lap (when you unravel your napkin or start eating), what fork to use (outside to in, yes, but what happens when they’re folded into your napkin?), how to tell the waitress you’re finished (according to Andrew, cross the silverware or turn them upside down), when to take your napkin off of your lap (when you’re finished eating- don’t eat after you’ve lifted it onto the table)… etc.

Yes, that's a napkin :)

But hey, we got a good laugh out of the whole ordeal, and learned a little. We had so much fun, in fact, next time we’re going to Sonic… or Burger King.